Edgy

Pointless Promotions are pleased to announce the 312th opening of an Indie Night in Glasgow in the last 4 months. Despite the name 'Doomed to Immediate Failure' being voted most appropriate, the organisers have gone with the more in-tune 'Edgy'. Promter Josh explains, 'today it is all about branding but this is a diy indie evening and we found that it was just too expensive to have 'Doomed to Immediate Failure' embroidered on our faux silk tour jackets, whilst 'Edgy' was a darn sight cheaper'.
Bar Owner, Dave picks up the theme. 'The dj's came up with some pretentious names for their night, most based on dead American poets or iconclastic 60's legends. I ain't been to no art school but I know that 'Edgy' is gonna work better. Lawyers for Dave point out he didn't actually use the word iconclastic but a shorter one, a much shorter one indeed.
Dj Sisyphus retorted, 'I'll be back behind the decks once these anti-biotics kick in', which proves that one should take more care when scanning through the Yellow Pages. Meanwhile, when finally approached, Dj Sisyphus revealed, he was happy to be rolling the boulder of indie music up the mountain of publlic indifference only to watch it crash to the bottom a hairsbreadth from the summit. Partner Dj Jed said he saw the night as a launching pad to help him meet his dream of one day cueing up a Ned's Atomic Dustbin B-side for a less talented but better known headliner at The Garage.
New York Market Researchers, 'Stating the Obvious' were approached to help position the new night within the Glasgow entertainment scene. Their expensive advice has helped both Djs. Sisyphus takes up the tale, 'It appears that our target audience like The Smiths and, well mostly The Smiths. So our whole night will be us playing tunes by The Smiths. We might slip in something by Morrissey as we've noted that he sounds very similar to The Smiths.

Only Electro Night promoter, ' Hear those tills ring sounds' a discordant note, 'Kids come along to our Progressive House night instead. Yes all the music sounds the same but the drugs are better and you have just the slightest chance that you can rub your undernourished carcass up against a loved up fresher in a Pacha t-shirt and no bra'
Alternatively, 'Edgy' at The Admiral Bar, 72a Waterloo Street, Glasgow on Friday 14th October. From 10pm.